It’s hard to think when you are in pain, the endless scream of a tortured nerve can make us whip, scream, or tear there’s the slight dark pleasure like a dusty comedy that enjoys the dry joke punchs ouch! and we are still here alive

to write first look

Fear of writing uninteresting stuff is in a way a want for being relevant significant search for value as we tie the words at the tip of our mind some words become silky phrases others simply knotted wool that search for value is really a search for beauty to capture the emotion from the loud… Read more to write first look


Options. look around in the room for red things. how many blue things did you see? We can only see what we are looking for, so what are you after? Money, love, power, security.. all of the above? how much and for how long? time is a tricky thing and you will see one thing… Read more Choose


Action and Inaction. Some philosophies say that every action has a reaction, just like in nature the human soul evolves according to this law and is only liberated when every action is purified through the course of it’s reaction. I think of how eternal is this cycle as we breathe, and eat, and create waste… Read more Hard

Just Show Up

losing. An empty hole that’s growing in the opposite direction of my dreams. It seems easy to simply walk in the opposite direction and follow what my vision wants to be real, but there’s something standing on the way, an invisible yoke that paralyzes my efforts to move. This consuming fear has me asking: at… Read more Just Show Up


courage. there’s that feeling where you don’t know what much more to say the amazing perception of what they think they would say the times, the frames and at ┬áthe end truth just gets bend and is violated or is that just the way of how much you know and how much we pretend there’s… Read more surreal

Not today

Staring at the blank page I think about the most complicated topics I can write about. A tiny spider is stuck in the middle of my screen, moves slowly I wonder if it knows where it’s going to stuff on my wrists scratches the surface in a semi annoying way and I no longer think… Read more Not today


2. I don’t like being watched. especially if I have to “perform”. Am I afraid to fail? why would it be better if nobody was there? where is the shame and wants to run stored? Things dissolve through my fingers all the time is not the fear to fail is it the fear to be… Read more Ego